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May 01, 2007

Full Moon Jerk Alert

DouchebagsFor some reason I've been getting hit on BIG TIME since Thursday. I checked and I didn't have a boob hanging out. I would like to be able to tell you this was a good thing but you know what they say... the odds are good but the goods are odd.

Mostly it's been... "Hi I'm hot shit, wanna go out tomorrow?" To which I respond, "Can I tell you my name first or does it matter?"

Was there an article in Maxium about Spam dating? If you ask 500 women out one of them will eventually say yes? Which reminds me of a guy I saw with one of those auto stampers. It had his phone number on it and he would troll the bar stamping the back of womens hands. A good idea until some guy shows up on his door with a shotgun asking him about why his girlfriend has his number stamped on her body.

I guess I'm just a little offended by these guys. Hello!!! You met me 5 minutes ago, you know nothing about me and you want to go out sometime? What exactly is it about me that makes you want to take me out on a date? Oh yes, that's right... I do have a vagina. Silly me.

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Comments

woa woa woa

you have a vagina?

uhh...

Hi, I'm hot shit, do you want to come to my dungeon or what?

I'm sorry to say this, but the behavior doesn't improve much the older you get.

Are you ovulating?!?!?!?!? Wait, no then you'd be hitting on them ... Hmmm. What about the hottie neighbor? Has HE been hitting on you???

"Can I tell you my name first or does it matter?"

Priceless. I think I'll try the spam dating method. Low success rate, but virtually no effort involved!

Damnit, the "hi i'm hot guy" stole my best pick-up line. I got nothin' now.

Argh, I hate it when pretty boys steal my best material for picking up women! :)

I knew a guy that would go through the bar asking "Wanna get out of here and get laid?" He usually found one girl that would say yes. Amazed me every time.

At first I thought, "wow" if it's like that out there, then I need to get out more. Then I remembered... I think it's best I stay in. I really don't deal well with the bizarre and weird.

How about..."uh...hi, I'm very emotionally needy and if you get involved with me I will suck the very life right out of you - wanna go out?"

I dont have a dungeon but my mom lives next door so you'd have to get up and leave before she wakes up -sorry!

Btw, you seem very fashion savvy - will nice shoes help me score with the ladies?

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