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January 01, 2007

Strange Prop

Chastity_2I got a very interesting proposition from Michael. Maybe it's a challenge. I'm actually considering it.

These days I feel more like a cog in a machine that I didn't design. Not that machines have cogs anymore. Just seems irregardless of what I do, what is going to happen is going to happen, or not. Possibly what feels like chaos is just some sort of intelligent design beyond my understanding. It seems the more I push, the less success I'm having.

Anyhow the challenge is to abstain from sex for a year. I don't know. It probably wouldn't kill me. I guess my question is why? The theory is that it will clear out the mental funk I'm in. Lack of sex seems to disrupt my thought process more then its presence confuses me.


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The quickest way to kill off your sex life is to get married. Oh yeah! First lame joke of the year!

By abstaining from sex does that mean masturbation would be removed as well? Not that I expect you to cover that in detail but that might be a deal breaker.

I think it would be easier to clear your head if you didn't search for love but let whatever happens happen. It's like being lost in the woods: Don't run all over looking for people that are searching for you. Stay in one place, keep yourself alive, searchers will find you.

Phooey. I say do it more - unless you're striving for some sort of ascetic existence.

After my ex-husband and I split up, I met a guy, the boytoy, who was in the picture on and off for the past two years. (He was supposed to be a one-nighter, ha.) It was so good with him, he'd be in the back of my mind even when I was dating other guys. Not a great situation. He and I are insanely attracted to each other but can't work anything else out. So, I've been abstinent for the past three months. It has cleared my head in that I can see the relationship for what it is -- and has shown me that I won't die without sex. Although, at times I am really really bitchy. Really bitchy.

If you can say, "I'm not going to have sex until Jan. 1, 2008," you're a better woman than I! Tony's right, let whatever happens, happens.

Rocky Jay,

Thanks for saying hello,,, But I KNOW YOU did not read this post! :P


Erm... Great I wasn't going to ask for clarification on that and just go with masturbation being AOK... but now I guess I have to find out what the definition of is... is.


OK that's one vote for whoreing. ;)


Thank gawd its not just me. Behold the power of the penis.


I'm not sure abstaining is the answer. However, not pushing to make things happen does help. It took me years to realize this when I was out of work. All the pushing never got me anywhere. It wasn't until I let go, let whatever come to me, that something happened.

I agree with Monique that abstaining can make a person very, very bitchy. Maybe a month or two is an answer. A year is just way too long!

I'd support your efforts... if not partake in them myself.

(I'm resisting the urge to make a joke about wanting to be the first person you see at the end of the year. ;) )

And Happy New Year!


I guess I could do it for say.. until I do it.

Doest that make sense?

Agreed that at least without the "self lovin" it could be difficult.


That brings up a very good point. I will need to have some sort of safety system in place if it came down to that.

Not you personally.. just general precautions.

BTW All...

I really doubt this is something I'm going to do.


i totally have experience to share with you about this!! i should blog about it, huh? i went over a year without sex. it was almost a year and a half.

it started out as a not-by-choice situation (long story) but i decided that because it was the situation i was in, to look at it as a sort of spiritual/self awareness experiment.

the results (for me) were not so good. i found that instead of clearing my head, it made my judgement all wonky and instead of making a mature, adult decision about when/whom to take that leap with when i finally did, i instead pretty much jumped in with my libido. and i have no regrets, but it taught me that it was not a good way for me to get perspective.

and p.s. even if masturbation is still ok in your challenge, it really doesn't alleviate the situation. behold the power, indeed. it is not replaceable.

Good grief woman! You're after torturing yourself with this one. Actually, Monique does have a point. If a relationship seems single faceted, the easiest test is to take away that single facet and see if the relationship still thrives.

As for a full year...well, Jan 1st 2008 some lucky man will not know what hit him.

"Not you personally.."

Well, that hurts.


People here love the sex talk, but the sex is irrelevant to the issue. I'm sure you know that.

Keep searching, you'll get there.

You should call up Rivers Cuomo and see how it went for him - he went celibate for two years so he could focus on his meditation.

Of course he is kind of strange...

Woe! Woe! Woe! Woe! WOOOOOOOOOOOE!!! Hold on just a second here!!! I mean let's not go crazy! I don't think it's the sex so much as other daemons you may be fighting right now. Turning into Sister Ann (my bitter resentful kindergarten teacher) is not the answer here. Don't do this but also don't force yourself to have it if you don't feel it.

Uh.....Jesus Christ Kelly.......I.....I don't how else to respond to this...... :-/

Ok ok ok. If nobody else is going to say it I will.
If decide to take the challenge you will be invited to my Dec. 31st 2007 New Years Party. Or I can come to your party. When that much sexual tension explodes I want to be in range. Even if it's just to see the walls tremble, the floor boards warp and the snow melt.

Oh yeah! 2 lame jokes in 1 day. I'm on a roll.

This reminds me of the Seinfeld episode where they all lay bets on who can go without sex the longest. They swore Elaine would coast into the Spring easily but she was the 2nd one down after Kramer.

Interesting proposition but what's the fun in no sex for a year? Sex shouldn't be such a big deal, it should just be good, clean fun. But those damn tangled up emotions...

New Years resolutions, of which this sort of is, never last, especially when it comes to sex.
The mental funk will just be doubled. Although maybe that's just the case for men, maybe it's different for women. Or is it. Okay, I'll shut up now.

Wow, I go away for the holidays and come back to K considering to turn herself into Kelly Chaste (great ironic porn star name btw, feel free to use it).

I say do whatever you feel is right for you, but if you start carrying around a ruler and acting increasingly irritable (like my grade school nun teachers) I am so starting a male escort fund drive for you.

Happy New Year.

I am currently about 5 weeks away from finishing my own year long challenge...and I have to say, it was not as hard as I was expecting it to be. But then I gave up dating and flirting too so I haven't been "tempted." It's allowed me to really focus on some other parts of my life, which were probably long past needing attention. It also gave me the time/space to figure out what the hell I want from a guy. Because lets face it, if you don't know what you want, you're never going to find it. I guess I probably also found it easy because I thought it was a good idea from the get go...harder now though. Eh well, fortunately I don't know anyone worth sleeping with. :) And the next month is busy so I won't have time to look. HA! :D

I don't know about bitchiness. I hope I haven't been terrorizing everyone around me with random attacks of bitchiness. That would be horrible! I'll have to ask...


If it ever is replaced... I'm trying to imagine by what?

18 months... is something I can't imagine.


That I think would get me into trouble on my end. Such a test I would fail.

Mr. Wolf..

:) Just meant that I would employ universal precautions... not just Peter precautions... well yes "peter" precautions... just you know what I mean.


You mean it's not about SEX! (gasp)

Hi Bob,

There have been about 3 Bob's commenting here. I welcome Bob's .... but who is Rivers Cuomo?


LOL... I don't know how to respond... but isn't woe woe woe... whoa whoa whao? We should ask Joey Lawrence.

See BOB... Joey Lawrence is someone I might have heard of. Can I get a whoa?


If it comes to that... hahah "comes to that"... geeze.

Maritza.. I think there was also a movie... 40 days or something and Josh Harnett makes a girl... oh I don't remember, but there was a movie about it.


Sure it's different. It's just different.


Escort fund... why didn't I think about that. Is that legal in Cananda?


I'm thinking it's not the act itself but everything that goes with it. Charles might have the right idea.


Rivers Cuomo - lead singer for Weezer, grew up in Yogaville.

Thought he would be right up your alley.

Weezer... no my alley has no Weezer. ;)

Well if we want to get particular:


1. To express surprise (interj)

2. To express astonishment(interj)

3. To indicate a desire for one to end that of which they are speaking (interj)

4. Evolved from a song to describe something that you're not quite sure exactly how to describe (adj)

1. woe

A feeling of extreme depression and/or agitation.


Ill fate. A bad thing to happen to someone or something.

Both fit for different reasons. Joey Lawrance style is to cheesy for me so I stand by woe whether correct or not.

But see here, this is the path to self damnation. Stop it Kelly!
Stop it!

Hmm, are escorts legal in Canada? I am not sure. I think that yes they are as it's street "escorts" that are illegal -- open solicitation. Whatver the case, I am sure we could work something out.

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