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July 08, 2006

Loose Shaggy Ends

Some quick announcements. I was a guest on FNPL again last night. I took a lot of grief on the show, but had a great time. FNPL has developed into a really great podcast and I think it's safe to say the show has found its legs. I'm very grateful to Thaed for having me on the show even if he does exploit my affinity for Scott of Geeknights.

It's Michael's Birthday today. Stop in and wish him a happy one for some Karma bucks you can use later. He's been cheering me on the past couple of weeks and has helped me reflect on what I'm about to blog about.

I wondered if it would be right to blog this, but really it's appropriate. A nice way to tie up loose ends. I will be vague, I'm not out to embarrass or out anyone. So here's the thing.

There is one person in particular I have been especially empathetic to. I have even gone overboard in support of this person. Which I don't think is wrong in itself, goes along with what I said earlier about being fearless.

Recently this person emailed me about an exciting prospect they had. I want very much to be happy for this person. I do. However the truth is, this person who never initiates communication with me suddenly e-mails me (and likely others) to share some great news and eludes to the fact that they may need help/support.

Lsh_2I'm probably not explaining enough here to get anyone on board with my frustration. But basically this has always been a one way street. This person has had an opportunity to get to know me over nearly a year and I doubt knows/cares about what I'm up to or shows any genuine interest in my life. My gut feeling is that they are just desperate with desire and they can't see the forest for the trees anymore. But more and more I think they may not be the person I hoped. Which makes me sad.

It's time for me to stop feeding the monster.


Kelly, you became the star of FNPL, despite how angry that makes Ray. :) You've always been really good natured when the 4 guys on the show pick on you. Of course, we are just giving you attention and I know how much you hate that. ;)

I've had one way street friends. They aren't worth the trouble. There's six billion people on this planet and some of them are worth your time and the rest aren't.

That show was really good. You know in all of the numerous jobs I've had most were in male dominated fields so I have that advantage. I can handle Ray.

I worry I come off as needy with this person. Funny how a person like this can turn the tables and make ME feel bad. That in itself is a pretty good indication that it's not an association I should have. ;)

Have a great weekend!


We all know someone like that...never call unless they need something....even on special days. Frustration understood.

Kelly, you are the victim of what I call a fair-weather friend. When they need you for something you're their bestest buddy. Otherwise you never hear from/see them. It's annoying. You probably attrack this type of person b/c you're (I believe) a giver. They can smell your willingness to help and know you'll feel guilt if you don't. They prey on it.

Life's too short and there are too many worthy people around for you to be having the life sucked out of you by this guy. My advice (not that you're asking) is cut your losses.

I'm going to play the DA here to what many of the other people are saying about communication in general: you all think that just because someone only talks to you when they need something they're only your friend half of the time?

I am a very shy person and find it hard to initiate conversation with people one on one. Even with my own ex-girlfriend, it was usually her who started the conversation. Once it was going we had no problem keeping it going. We always just don't know what to talk about.

A lot of the times, a call for help is the boost of courage we need to actually initiate the conversation.

On the otherhand, it took me a lot of courage to tell my ex how I felt about her when we first met, but I still found it somewhere, and I'm glad I did.

I don't know if this is relevant, but it's how I feel when you mention the nefarious fair-weather friends...

Hey Max, Thanks for Playing DA.. so you said,

"you all think that just because someone only talks to you when they need something they're only your friend half of the time?"

Naw, I don't think that at all. It's a little deeper then that. ;)

This person is wise to the situation. Could be that in their mind they never asked for my any of my help so I should not expect anything from them. They do have a point.

Clearly my bad for letting it go on the way it has. Which is why the plug pull.. should have done it long ago. I know it and I suspect they do too.

I've wanted to call this for a while now, but keep getting reeled back in. I'm blogging about it to be accountable to myself to do the right thing here.


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