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July 23, 2006

Brazilian Wax All Up In My Business

UPDATE: Holy moly people! I am sitting here LMAO at some of the comments/e-mail I've gotten over this post. People really seem to want to talk about the hairless whooha..

Seriously though, it's my personal blog and from my point of view this is a significant thing that I experienced this past week. I've gotten some serious inquiries from others considering doing this and some funny stories from people who have also had it done.

But do I have to ask anyone to not be vulgar? Really? If you're a guy, or even a girl for that matter, and you really want to share a story about your sexual experience with the Brazilian wax... GREAT! blog about it on your blog and feel free to link it in the comments. But please don't leave it in my comments. I hate editing comments, but for real people.

Yes, BTW, I realize as I say this my SitePal is possessed by Monica simulating a orgasm. There is funny and there is vulgar.... I decide the difference.

LanaissancedevenusLast week on the podcast I asked Bobby for his opinion on the Brazilian wax. There was some interest in the subject and some talk in the show forums about waxing and "manscaping".

So take a moment to snicker about the subject. Go ahead and get it out of your system because I'm about to talk about waxing my privates.

Have all the children left? This is serious stuff. At least I take the application of hot wax to my pubic region seriously.

Ok first let's define the Brazilian wax. When I say Brazilian wax I mean complete wax of the entire bikini area. All hair the hair removed.. gone. That's what I mean. Here's the wiki if you're still not sure. 

So last week I experienced the Brazilian wax for myself. I want to mention that I've had the traditional bikini wax, with the landing strip, many a time. My own esthetician does not offer the Brazilian so I went to a waxing studio that specializes in all sorts of hair removal. Actually, the Brazilian wax is illegal to preform in several countries.

Here's how it went down. A very sweet British girl takes me back to a private room. She's very nice, the overall feel is serene. I was given a string g-string which was really just a string. With the normal bikini wax I usually get a disposable panty that the esthetician pushes around as needed. I looked at the host and said, "really?". She told me most people don't ever wear it, but they have to offer. Mary Poppins leaves, I look at the string and decide not to bother.

Okay so I lay on the table and the woman I will refer to as "The Baroness" enters the room. The Baroness lifts the drape I was given to cover up with while waiting and sort of sneers, "first time". I tell her that I've had bikini waxes before just not the full Brazilian. "First Time," she says again. I feel like I'm in fourth grade and I didn't do my homework. Which is ridiculous. For the record, I keep things tidy. I'm not like a 70's basketball player down there, as Bobby would say.

So the Baroness has me bring my knees up to my chest then separate my knees. She runs an antibacterial wipe all around and uses a piece of cardboard to fan dry the area. Then the Baroness powders everything. This is the end of the pleasantries. This is where people stop being polite and start getting real.

I'm fairly certain that the person who coined the phrase, "all up in my business" was talking about the Brazilian wax. So there's about 5 minutes of the actual waxing associated with hair removal going on. My crotch is on fire. But no, the Baroness is a thorough gal and the tweezing begins. So after having what feels like a sandpaper massage to the genitals, the baroness is now picking at me like a woodpecker on a tree. There was some brief cooling when she applied a cooling oil.

So three days later and the fire is out and if your wondering do I like it? Ya I have to say I like it. I'll not go into details. But it's good, real good, and I'll do it again. My point in all of this I guess, is that all of the hype is true. Yes it really really really hurts. But it doesn't matter because it's worth it.

Comments

Do you think a guy would look/feel good like that as well? Not the jewels, but maybe around them?

Glenn,

Have you been closing bars again? ;)

K

mrQ's mentioned he'd like for me to go for a full out Brazilian wax. I'm scared though lol.

Kristina,

Hmmm. Well it really hurts, probably not as much as child birth. So I say you go for it. Tell Mr. Q that if you go through the pain... he better amke it worth your while. LOL

Good luck.. wear a skirt.

K

I've been considering the B-Wax myself but the thought of having my ankles held together and over my head like a baby being diapered keeps me from going. Also, I know these women are professionals and no one is forcing them to do it, but I feel sorry for them. Waxing coochies for a living is just sad.

Maritza,

The Baroness seemed pretty content to me. I think she definately found her calling.

K

I've had one done before and I didn't think it hurt that much but maybe it depends on who does it and your pain tolerence.

ANO,

I have a pretty good pain threshold and the actual waxing, ripping of the hair, was not so bad but the burning afterwards was really really painful.

Maybe I just have a sensitive coochie (as maritza puts it).

K

Let it be known that I am proud of you. Both for doing it, and for posting about it.

(The, "Now excuse me while I go masturbate..." phrase has been deleted by the author)

Well I'm glad I could help you out Bobby.

Have Fun.

I gotta say, you really seem like a very intelligent woman. I do appreciate the insight into these experiences. I, being a country bumpkin of sorts, hadn't heard of this sort of method before.

EDITED BY K
Glenn.. You have your own blog if you want to talk about your ex and her privates. ;)

Well done, being adventurous and all. And glad you liked it. I've been told it is worth all the pain due to the "feeling" it enables as well as the increased attention partners are inclined to give one who has had a Brazilian done. Hope your efforts land you a big (and multiple) pay off(s) :-)

Hey Charles... Thanks but did you really mean to say partners? I really wouldn't jump to conclusions. ;).

K

Sincere apologies. I was just saying, from a Male point of view, that the effort that women put into these things is appreciated from this side of the fence.

No worries, I got your meaning, it was the language/details I had to edit.

K

I dunno about the full wax...I've been with women who had them, and I've always felt it was a little creepy. I'm too busy reminding myself that I'm having relations with an adult (and not an eight year old) to fully enjoy it. Leave the landing strip. :-)

Ben,

I think you hit the nail on the head there. That was the same question I posed on episode #3 of the based on podcast. Not sure I have a real opinion on that since I am not a guy. That might be something worth discussing. From my point of view, I don't think any "reminding" would be in order. I guess that's the best way to say what I'm meaning by that.

All I know next week I'm going completely PG. :)

Hmm, burning afterwards? I didn't notice any of that. Perhaps it's the kind of wax she used? Or maybe the wax was even too hot?

ANO...

Hmm you didn't have a red burning from having the pubic hairs ripped from your most sensitive areas? Can you give me the number of your salon? ;)

K

It was a bit red but never burned! The girl was really nice too, talked to me the whole time, always asked if the wax was too hot and stuff like that. Come on out to Maryland and I'll hook ya up!

The Baroness was all about business. lol.

I meant "partner's" as in one partner, as in singular. I was/am not suggesting you are anything but a virtuous, upright and moral lady. Sorry for any misunderstanding.

Yours,
C

I know Charles, but wanted to clarify ;).

K

The Vagina Monologues called, they want their topics back. Seriously, I think the soft anvil upon which we are all forged is becoming a regular character in your blog!

Wow! Lots of comments!

(Mental note:

Write a post about getting a brazilian wax. People seem to want to talk about brazilian waxes.

Also, punch owner of blue truck in the face for parking in my spot.)

I prefer the landing strip but that's just my personal preference. I give a lot of credit to you ladies for doing the waxing. I don't have the guts to do it but I will shave because it keeps the wife happy. Enough on that though.

When I first saw the start of this article I went into typical male mode: Oh yeah! *bonk chicka waah waah* Fire up that 70's grove. But then I read the article and discovered it was very informative and well written. You could have gone the pornographic route but didn't. Hard to believe a guy will say this but I'm glad you didn't take the pornogrpahic route.

Lots of credit to you for being open and honest on your blog. Great job.

Thaed,

Okay Okay, I'll reduce the vagina talk by 2/3 this next week. ;)

Bobby,

I look forward to your next post about the Brazilian wax.

Tony,

Why thank you. I really appreciate the comment. Nope no Bow chicka bow here... :)

K

Thank you for this post. Especially for the correct definition of Brazilian wax. I have heard some say that they got a Brazilian wax and then say that they have a landing strip. Well, then you didn't get a Brazilian!

Also, thank you for explaining what is actually done. I have never had one, but I have contemplated it. I still am undecided.

Sex with a hairless coochie? Mr. X preferred a hairless experience for both, I prefer a little texture...

Wow, was stopping by for click and comment Monday and got an eye full that's for sure. lol LOVED the post! Don't think I'm there on the whole waxing thing and more than likely resemble that 70's basketball player, but as long as my husband doesn't seem to care, why should I?

Shelli,

Thanks. I definately intended this to be an informational type post.. but it certainly has a life of it's own.

Maritza,

I can't comment about that yet. :)

DeeJay,

You are now on my hero list for being the first to say what I bet is the opninon of many. ;).. linked you too.

K

Just stopped by to say thanks for your perspective comment, and while we're talking about perspective...YEEEOUCH! You're braver than I am :-)

Sardogwill,

NOT TRUE... Bravity... not the same as Vanitey... two different things.

You deserve all of the respect in the world.

K

I can't even touch this one without slipping into something pornographic. But I am glad you liked it despite the pain. Okay, nuff said. Big smile, wave and prompt exit by Ricardo.

Thanks Ricardo. :)

Hi there,
I am a French expatriate in London and find it difficult to find a cheap salon beauty that does bikini waxing. But I've found one and would want to know the difference between bikini line, G-string and Brazilian. Thanx to this article, I already know what a Brazilian is.
Thanx for your replies!

Is it true that once you choose the brazillian as your hair removal method then that has to remain your only method?

I am a Professional waxer for Brazilian for men and women. Afer customers have brazilian waxing done, they will love it and no way to go back to shaving which results a lot of ingrown hairs.

During waxing, customers will request a full brazilian waxing (no hair left over), some request G-string with all hair gone except a small strip vertically on top of G-Spot. Some just tried bikini line (hairs gone along 2 sides of bikini.

Check with my websites, there are more waxing secrets and tips there too.

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