A Yoga Coffee Outlook

Oh You Kids Rock!

Always cool to wake up to good news in your inbox.

First, Ricardo just informed me that he finished his screenplay. I hope this means he is going to go out and get rip roaring drunk. Finishing a large project like this deserves a Paris Hilton moment! Nice Job!

Ricardo! YOU ROCK!

Next up... Billy Harvey was nice enough to give me a track that was used on the old podcast. Billy just released his new CD Bearsick. Stop by his Myspace page and give him a listen. Another big project in the can.

Billy! YOU ROCK!

And saved the best for last... My friend Bob Gentry looks like he had an amazing time performing at the Key Club. He rocked the house, saved some seals, tried to get into Slashes pants, and saw some naughty things he can't talk about... but I will force him to tell me about later.

Bob Gentry! YOU ROCK!

I seriously love to hear good news.

Oh... Hello There.

It's been 4 or 5 days, strange for me. I actually did a post titled Sweat Lodge & The Abnormally Small Penis Story, but I decided to leave that private and not publish it. If anyone is really interested drop me an email and I might be willing to share.

I have been quite busy. I have two new jobs now. One I can't talk about publicly and the other I can. So I will. I just signed on as the Fashion Editor for a local website called This Week In Denver. At this moment it's a mailer about events and happenings in Denver. Next month sometime it will be a fully navigational website. So I'll go ahead now and declare that it's the shit and I'm pretty lucky to be affiliated with it.

In other news I was sick all week with a sucky head cold. I was pretty much able to function as normal, just not feeling good the whole time. I'm only doing yoga on Sunday mornings now. I had to sit down and prioritize things. It's easier for me to get to the gym on the fly versus trying to make it to scheduled classes. Especially since I have physical therapy 3 times a week for the neck problem. I'm sure it sounds like I'm falling apart, actually I've dropped about 8 lbs over the last three months. I have been working out quite a lot, but I think some of it may have to do with stress and not eating.

The house next door has been listed for sale since Halloween. While walking across the landing on my stairs I noticed a ratty looking little girl staring out what I assume will be her bedroom window into my house. Don't be offended by the ratty little girl comment, I was actually a ratty looking little girl myself. I had left my window uncovered because the previous owner kept the blind closed. But if this girl is anything like I was she will have her window wide open and will be watching me. So time to cover the window. I will just add that to my redecorating list.

So next week no major plans. I was invited to play in a home poker game. This is kind of a big deal because there was quite a bit of lobbying to get me in. Men typically don't want women ruining their guys night. Fortunately, these guys are fairly serious players and are intent on taking my money. So I will try not to let them. My secret weapon is to start talking about menstrual cramping if I get too pressured by anyone.

Have a great week!

K

Thrilling

Well I thrilled you all with my last post. Prepare to be wowed yet again by my bathroom shots. Seriously... this is all I've been doing. Which reminds me I received a total of 4 emails wanting to know what the remote thingy was on my bed. For those who wondered but did not ask, it's a sleep number bed. My sleep number is 75. Also, Yes... I own a Dyson. Might I point out I'm a little worried about the detail at which some of you were viewing the photos. :P

So if you are not bored yet, the color is called Chocolate Froth. Going on it's nearly white so it was really hard to gage the coverage until it was dry. Overall I'm happy with the color and think that the transition to the bedroom color works.

My dog Blue thinks it's thrilling.

Fumes

I did finish painting my bedroom just as I was about to lose light. I will have to do the master bath another time. The one thing I was not sure about was how to deal with the ceiling. I think it seems weird to not do anything to it. But I've never been a ceiling painter. Maybe I'll just wait until I figure out what to do about the light fixture... Maybe I'll go to Mike & Toni's Chandelier Galaxy and get a chandelier...you know to really class up the joint.

I had a Yeeeee moment when one of my real life friends crossed over and left a comment. Which was awesome... and even more awesome was how she very cleverly dropped a major bomb.

As time goes on my blog world and my real life are merging into one. It's very odd. Maybe some of you can relate. I think most bloggers enjoy a sort of public anonymity. Which is a contradiction, I know. But for me the cat is out of the bag and I am going to need too make some serious choices about how much I say here. Just because I don't mind my life being crawled by spiders and indexed into a search-able database does not necessarily mean the people in my life are willing to share that experience with me.   

And Again, And Again, And Again...

It snows, and snows, and snows. It's a good thing I was planning on staying in today to finish painting. I don't know what the snow totals are for the year but it has got to be some sort of record. Yes I know it's January. But where are the "unseasonably warm" days I remember. And don't tell me about global warming.

Last month when the blizzard happened there were numerous references to "The Blizzard of 82'". I was 8 years old that Christmas. I found this picture of me. This must have been Christmas day or week.

The coat I'm wearing was like my Red Rider BB Gun. A girl in my class named LaTiscia had it and I being a true follower... needed one. By spring every girl in the class had the same coat and LaTiscia transferred to another school.

Blue Tape

You know what the blue tape is for right? That's right, I'm painting or I will be.

I spent today clearing out my bedroom and master bath. I'm painting everything a shade of very light blue. I don't mind painting, but it's the taping that seems to take forever. 

Later this month the carpet cleaners are coming. You would not believe the enormous amount of hair that my dogs shed. Seriously disgusting and drives me out of my mind. Every time I turn around there is a clump of hair on the carpet. Do they sell rogaine for dogs? And why are they shedding now? It's 17 degrees outside.

I did take that new job and I'm anxious to get started. I'm also putting off the surgery. I'd like to explore all of my options before I let them drill into my neck and fuse my spine together. I'd hate to let them do it and then two years down the road they discover a less invasive and far superior procedure. I admit I got a little freaked out last Sunday when my hand started shaking uncontrollably and did not stop until the next day. My understanding of why that happened is that it has something to do with the disks being inflamed and pinching nerves. Really unsettling feeling though.

Oh, and someone suggested that I change the header picture from the frumpy photo to the party photo below. I kinda like the more serious look. Should we have a vote?

8 Wishes and 10,000 Miles - Paul Sanchez

Yes it's another YouTube. But please take a moment to watch this one. Paul Sanchez rode his bike 10,000 miles across the US and back to raise awareness and money for children with dyslexia and learning differences. As part of his 8 wishes you can help Paul out by embedding this video on your website and encouraging your readers to watch. If you do add this to your website, let me know by leaving a comment and I will link you as a supporter of 8 wishes and 10,000 miles on my sidebar.

Here is the embed link: <object width="425" height="350"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/j8Uht3DnbOQ"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/j8Uht3DnbOQ" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="350"></embed></object>

On the UP side...

Too much gloom here. If it kills me I'm going to find happy things to write about. These are some photos from a party I went to.

   

Cold Bunny

It's just freezing. Colder then hell? I don't understand that expression. I also don't get the colder than a witches tit saying. Which makes me wonder if breast implants get really cold in weather like this. If you happen to have implants or you are a witch could you please email me and let me know. Appreciate it.

So yesterday my friends and I went to a sports bar near my town called the Brewery Bar III. Their famously hot green chili warmed me up. Watching the Chargers/Patriot game I was jealous of the entire city of San Diego. Wearing shorts and t-shirts! If you are from San Diego or anyplace above 60 degrees right now...I hate you. And how would you like to be Nate Kaeding? Besides being a really well payed pro bowler... I hope he went home, mixed booze and pills and is still sleeping it off. Poor guy.

And look at this poor little guy. He was sitting outside the Starbucks across from the Brewery.

I joined a poker site called Poker X Factor. I was doing fairly well playing on a very limited amount of knowledge. I thought I might be really dangerous if I learned more. There are two tournaments today that I'm playing in. Both get reviewed by a site pro and analyzed hand by hand with commentary. So if I don't go out in the first half of the tourney, which is more likely then not, then I get to hear a pro talk about what a weak and terrible player I am. So this is what I'm doing for kicks now that I'm not having sex. Wish me luck.

Grown Up Nightmares.

When I was a child I had repetitive nightmares. There was a significant amount of emotional trauma in my life at that time. One of the things that very few people know about me is that I had an older brother who was killed when I was five. It's the middle of the night here and I don't mean to write about that. Don't feel like talking exactly about that now. Someday I'm sure I will. But after he died my family simply erased him. I don't even say his name... because my programming won't let me.

The most prolific of these dreams involved water tanks. There was a Bubble Up bottling plant near where I grew up and it had one of those giant water tanks on stilts. In my dreams the tank was clear and I was trapped inside with a giant crayfish that was the size of one you would see fighting Godzilla. Apparently breathing underwater was not a consideration and drowning or fear of drowning was not a theme of the dream.

Sometimes I was alone, swimming, trying to stay away from it's claws, like bait. But most often there were others in the tank with me. Both people I loved and people I saw as threatening. There was always desperation in trying to escape the monster and at the same time keeping track of the people I cared about. Watching to see that they were surviving. Panic when I could no longer see them in the tank.

If our early life experiences prepare us for our future then you could surmise that I am durable. I'll not get run over. Actually it's the one personality trait that I can't tolerate. I am a person who embraces flaws in others. The more battle scars a person has the more leeway and admiration I give them. I am disgusted by whiny behavior. People who are indignant about the world based on their expectations that they are the center of the universe activate my anger management center. People who've had crappy things happen to them and manage to function, I hand a megaphone to.

There is no giant monster in my nightmares anymore. Now I wake up with no storyline. Just a rotten feeling in my gut that the world somehow changed while I was sleeping and not for the better, like dread.

It feels like waking up, seeing that it's sunny, and knowing that I had a 5 AM flight. That moment you realize something just happened that's going to effect your life forever. Not regret. Just waking up and having to mentally adjust to a new reality.

For a person who has been diagnosed with cancer... it would be like becoming aware that a cluster of cells just formed and feeling all of your priorities change in that moment.

That is what my nightmares are now. Waking up, feeling the tide change deep inside my gut. Knowing and not knowing at the same time. These dreams I'm having are not a fear manifested. It's like my brain is processing information I'm receiving without being aware of information. Then at night when my mind adds it all up I get these alarms going off. You know... "Danger Will Robinson, Danger".

Trust me... there is a tsunami out there heading for my shore. I know it.

Like Fargo, but fewer lunatics...

Yeah, I've never been to Fargo. But it's like that outside now. Or at least from what I saw in the movie... Minus the crazy inbreds, angry salesmen, and barfing deputies. I'm going to Las Vegas next month to defrost. I gave up on cranking the heat up and dancing to Bossa Nova music in my yoga shorts.

I'm writing a lot. I have not heard back from the Paris Journal yet, so I'm anxiously awaiting the return of my story with a "thank you.... but no" note. The S.A.S.E. (self addressed stamped envelope) I included has a photo of huggy bear on it. I thought it might help to cheer me up when it arrives. I'm sure the literary gods will not be amused. It's just the sort of twisted thing that I find funny.

I've not had an official job offer yet. But I think I'm close to working for website here in Denver as a fashion writer/fashion liaison.  It's the kind of thing that I was looking for and I think would ultimately lead to world domination. Maybe not world domination, just Denver fashion scene domination. You gotta think big.

On the left side bar is a link to AYCO funlinks. I put things there that I find funny or amusing. It's a totally separate blog. I try not to junk it up here. It's like the distorted and sick closet of my mind.

Have a good weekend and leave a comment so I know you are still here.

Foot in Mouth

A quick post because I've got wine on board, having too much fun, and I totally threatened to do this.

After Bunko tonight, my friend Diana and I went to IHOP. I know kids... I live the sweet life... It's not for everyone.

So my stomach was just really upset and I said to Diana, "I wish I was like an old lady and had Tums in my purse".

She pulled a baggie full of Tums out of her purse and flung it at me. Then I laughed like I was 14 and stoned for the first time. Oh, good times.

That's all I got.

Please don't yell at me if you carry Tums in your purse. (see post title)

High Risk

I believe that at a certain point you have to put everything on the line. I look back through the archives at the past year and I think this could be the defining moment here. I've just been taking a hell of a beating. It seemed to me that I need to make my move now.

Over the last few weeks I've been taking an inventory of my life. I've been tying up loose ends, cleaning out closets, updating my contacts. So this year will be it. There is a real chance I will lose it all. Things like bankruptcy are not unimaginable. It's really all up to me. I hope that I'll continue blogging, but it might not be a regular thing anymore. With so much on the line, I can't justify the time commitment.

K

Prop Bet

So I am accepting the sex free challenge or partner free sex challenge... With some conditions of course.

Let me tell you about Michael since he is the bringer of this risnafulous challenge. Michael is a guy I went to the police academy with. We went out once to a bar in Glenwood springs called Doc Holidays. He's an attractive guy, I'm kinda cute, we just never went beyond a friendly game of pool. He was kind of my protector.

There was this strange guy in the class who followed me around. I'm nice to everyone. I might have been a little too nice with this guy. Without being invited, he followed me home. The place I was living was in the boonies. So when I saw his car behind me, I pulled over just short of the drive to my house, got out, and he stopped behind me. I walked up to his window and said very nonchalantly, "Did I leave something in class?", knowing that I didn't. His response was something like, "I just wanted to talk and not scare you". At that point I informed him that he was "scaring me" and I'd appreciate him turning it around. After that Michael had a conversation with him and he stopped.

So anyway, Michael found me by way of this blog about 6 or so weeks ago and he's gotten some of the inside skinny on the vagueness that's been commonplace here. Michael was lamenting about not having sex for many months and I rubbed it in a little. I would say for the past 8 years, I have not gone without for more then a month, maybe only twice. Michael lives in a community where the ratio is like 6:1, so the joke is that guys don't lose their girlfriends so much as they lose their turn. I lived in the same type of community for 10 years, which explains why I didn't go without.

This is how he came up with what has now turned into a complicated little prop bet.

I would not agree to a year. As luck would have it, my birthday is on July 2nd. Just a smidge over 6 months. So am getting credit for the last two days and the bet ends on my Birthday. So I can have a "Happy Birthday" if it works out that way. Also I clarified that self pleasure IS acceptable. I was not willing to give up the one relationship that has never failed me. However assisted pleasuring is NOT allowed. I have a couple of other outs too.

Here are the details.

No sex acts with any partners from now thru July 2, 2007 12:01 AM.

Sex acts include any touching of the genitalia. 1st & 2nd bases are fine.. 3rd base & home runs are not.

My outs...

#1 Self lovin is OK. (mentioned earlier)

#2 I call this my prince charming fairy tale out. If my guy shows up at my door with white roses in one hand, a bottle of bourbon in the other, and says the three words that will get him out of trouble with me.. (and they are not "I love you") then I am free to have sex with him. I have already declared this person to Michael. He has the name in a sealed envelope and has placed it in a wall safe guarded by two K-9 bite dogs (or so he says). *This out costs me. I don't have to pay out, but neither does Michael and I'm getting 3 to 1 odds.

#3 Apocalypse. If it's the end of the world as we know it, I get to feel fine. Let's say China nukes us. Then all bets are off. Not that it would matter at that point anyway.

So now that's it. I'm certain to get lots of blogging mileage out of this. If I win, it will be enough to take an nice trip. Hopefully not alone. How ironic and sad would that be.

Now where do I find one of those countdown timers?

32 Flavors and Then Some

Experiencing much peace over the last two days. This is the first time I've cracked open my laptop in nearly 48 hours. I've been enjoying the comments on the last post. I'm playing introvert and have nothing to post about. I do have a massive bruise on my left thigh and buttock region, but all of my ligaments seem to be holding so that's good. Skiing is good and better then I remember. Still tough not being able to do what I use to be able to do.

I think the rest of today I'll spend drinking hot chocolate, listening to Alana Davis and I will try to see if I can lose what's left of my poker winnings from last month. I'll be going home tomorrow morning and hopefully will resume posts that are more interesting than a bruise and playing cards.

K

Strange Prop

I got a very interesting proposition from Michael. Maybe it's a challenge. I'm actually considering it.

These days I feel more like a cog in a machine that I didn't design. Not that machines have cogs anymore. Just seems irregardless of what I do, what is going to happen is going to happen, or not. Possibly what feels like chaos is just some sort of intelligent design beyond my understanding. It seems the more I push, the less success I'm having.

Anyhow the challenge is to abstain from sex for a year. I don't know. It probably wouldn't kill me. I guess my question is why? The theory is that it will clear out the mental funk I'm in. Lack of sex seems to disrupt my thought process more then its presence confuses me.

Thoughts?